How Adult Children Can Help Their Parents

Kids can help their parents through a divorce. Younger children may not understand what is going on, but older children and adult children have great influence on their parents. When it comes to the aftermath of a divorce, the kids have a lot more power than what many people may think.The actions of the children can make the situation worse, or they can make the situation a whole lot better.

(Every family has its own specific circumstances, so not all of this may apply to everyone.)

This is advice for children who are older and grown up and have divorced parents. These are the don’ts for the children old enough to know what’s going on.

•           don’t manipulate– Making you parents compete for you is not going to make the situation any better.
•           don’t take sides- This will get you in trouble. The divorce is between the parents. They’re adults, let them work it out.
•           don’t allow brainwashing– One-sided stories almost never share all of the facts.
•           don’t contribute to bad mouthing- Let your parents know you won’t tolerate it. Bad mouthing might cause psychological effects.
•           don’t speak extremely about one parent to another. (Good or Bad)-  It’s okay to talk about the other parent. However, any complaint or an extreme compliment may just cause the parent to share their thoughts and opinions, which you may not like.

My mom and her three children

Things you must understand

1.           Divorce is not uncommon. Nearly one half of children see their parents get divorced. You are not alone.
2.           You still have two parents who have your best interest still in mind. Not everyone has that. A large number of children of divorce grow up without a father.
3.           Chances are this is new territory for the parents too. It’s not easy on anyone.

And the one “Do”:

• Be happy for them, whether they find someone else or are happy being alone.
• What else can the children do to help?